Trigger Warning
I'm not trying to be a attached whore I just have all these feelings and needed to get them out somewhere cuz it's way too fucked up to say outloaid
There's a part of me that knows I shouldn't... But I can't help but drown in be the alor of this desire.. I have a love-hate self-destructive relationship with you.. Although I know you may not be a good choice.. I often have you as a close second.. I know my family and friends hate you.. But I don't think they see your beauty.. You are a acquired taste that lingers in my mouth for over a decade now.. And at the in why not? You whisper sweet nothings in my hear since my young adolescents.. Who am I to deny you the fruit of your labor.. Know one has the work ethic as you you.. You work 24/7 even Whitecastles takes Chirstmas off.. You will be the end of every thing good in my life.. You will be the except for the dark I fear so much.. You will be the end and my new beginning... I don't fear you.. I welcome your presents hole heartedly.. You are death.. You are suicide... I'm unsure and unstable.. I fear your cold numbness.. But I'm still here.. Waiting for you to come.. Many people want me to stop but how can I with you holding me tight like a warm hug.. You're my down fall but at least I know you will never leave me.. I want to be close to you.. Closer than I've ever been before..
Maybe I won't... But maybe I will..
Sorry to anyone I hurt.. I tried but now I'm just tired
Hey destiny sorry not been to your blog for long, I can only imagine how you must feel please keep strong, you have to develop a STRONG WILL to live reading this reminds me of poor 22 year old Blogger Karyn Washington founder of forbrowngirls who committed suicide. Destiny anytime you feel down please make a blog post I'm here for you even though I am a faceless, nameless internet blogger/commenter you are allowed vulnerable moments express them and let ride out.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ8guE5D8PM
ReplyDeleteTrigger warning (a little ranty and off topic) Even if you are faceless your still a person.. Someone (for what ever reason) you care enough to look at what I write.. For that I'm grateful.. I never heard of Karyn before today.. But I will morn for her.. It so hard being a woman in this world and this body.. That is not 100% depending on if the man across the way demons me pretty and take me even when everything in my being yells NO! screams in non consent it will be argued not that we should teach men not to rape but we should teach women how to lower a man's eye.. We should not give them a reason to rape..
DeleteBeing a woman is a cross I didn't ask to bear but I did... And being a black girl on top of it all seems out right outrageous.. We need to be loud, well spoken, easy temperature, modest yet fashionable, class and sassy, mute, soft spoken, well read and another 1000 things that truly don't matter cuz there's all paradises that no one can accomplish... I love being a woman but sometimes I wish to opt out of being a black women.. A Lil colored girl... Cuz like the story goes... for colored girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow is enough...