I know it's a fuck up thought doesn't need anyone to tell me that much..
It's been 53 hours since I last hurt myself.. Time is still moving very odd.. I real like I'm going to destroy my new very important relationship with my self destructive behavior.. Although logically I understand how I need to not put myself all out there.. How so unhealthy it is.. How more than I want a friend, a parter and companion.. I really just want a god damn healthy relationship.. Cuz Lord knows everytime I find someone new to be in my life I over step my boundaries (over and over) until it becomes impossible for them and they leave me.. It's not there fail I drive them away you can only go through so much of they Rollercoaster ride before you say "fuck it.. I want my money back..cuz I didn't sign up for this" I want to be loved and I want to love.. Not just I'm sick but because I'm lovable...
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