feel retarded.. who gets mad because you haven't talk to someone in less than 12 hours it's unrealistic but yet I'm still mad.. I end up having a binge... and I'm sure I'm going to page tonight with laxative abuse... what can I say what I really want to say to him.. I'm so scared what he might say back I don't say anything at all... if I found cryptic I'm sorry.. I'm talking about Al... and him not wanting to date me... are celebrate Valentine's Day with me... it's not that I want to date him so therefore I want Valentines Day.. but it's idk I really like him.. we sleep together... we snuggle.. cuddle.. and talk all the time.. I know it's messy I'm not saying it's not... and I know why he doesn't want to celebrate Valentine's Day with me he thinks that I would get attached and he's not 100 percent wrong... I just want him to tell me that he cares and that he wants to spend the day with me not crying the mend it but I want him to want to... the fact that he doesn't want to hurt me more.. then there's the whole BPD abandonment thing...
