hopeless and out the hospital

just got out the hospital hasn't even been been 48 hr. and i already want to do "stuff" that i know will put me back in.. why am i like this i have to ask my self but "normal" wouldn't act like this they just wouldn't... just i don't have an answer and that suck even more... i don't like myself to day... not any thing about me i like not my hair, my face, my eyes, nose, NOTHING!!! how can i set here and hate every thing about me... but i do... today i will complain and h8 the world far i have nothing better to do... haven't bathed..change my close either anything like that.. all i want is to die AND cry.. I'm not a gd friend to the one person that is there for me every day... and that just kills me the most... i love her more then any thing and when she needs me today i make thing worse... i don't know how to help i cant even be there to just listen.. i don't even think I'm a gd blogger... i have no hope no faith.. hell i don't even have any views.. i know no1 cares about me and i;m alone cuz if they did... idk i think even if someone call me on my phone and said Destiny i love you... i still wouldn't feel it...

ONLY BABIES CRY OVER SPELT MILK!!

so, can you  tell by the title what is on my mind? well i was a lil mad and by a lil i mean a lot about the milk spoiling earily.. the date said 1/11/12 but it went bad on the 3rd that's about an week difference.. you know you broke when you cry over that.. but when i went to the store they gave me free milk no questions asked.. so now i'm in luv with that store... cusmer for life... =D

whats the rules for a blog?

i really don't know where to begin... i feel like there so much to say.. but at the same time nothing anyone with half a mind would want to hear at the same time.. starting is the hardiest thing for me...  let's talk BPD (borderline personality disorder)... these is the thing that consumes my life.. bpd for me is the name of the monster that goes bump in the night..i feel like the only way to get over "it"(bpd) is to admit to failure on some since... it say i "fucked up" and who really wants to do that?  there is so much running through my mind i just cant say any thing cuz if i do then nothing will make since.. so ill just have to pick these up latter..